BABY?

BABY?

Tan and I decided in Nov 2017 we wanted to start trying for another babe. Because of our history with getting pregnant in the past, we set our expectations really low for this one. If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it is to set expectations low for everything. then when something good happens I'm that much more excited about it!  So that's kinda what we did with this babe. it only took us 2 months with this one, and we didn't stress about it, we did what came naturally, and we just took each day one day at a time. I remember I was about a week late but didn't want to psych myself out by taking several tests followed by disappointment and unhealthy thoughts. In the past you would've caught me taking 2 tests a day, a week early. I was that obsessed with getting pregnant. But with this one I just tried not to stress out or freak out about it.

One day out of the blue I decided to test and there she be!

Tanner and I had a lunch date that day so I brought them with me and just whipped them out. haha. we just kinda kept things low key. Still excited, but kept expectations low in case we did lose this baby. I'm SO GLAD we had that attitude. SO GLAD. I remember when I was pregnant with one of my past babies and lost it, the nurses always told me I needed to just stop stressing about it and that it would happen. oh man during that time i was SO MAD at the nurses. I wanted to slap em haha. But now that that's in the past I really believe they are right. We were too stressed and focused on getting pregnant that we struggled to enjoy the day to day things.

so here we go!!! I found out I was prego on Jan 2 2018.

 In this pic I was about 8 weeks, first dr. appointment.

At my first ultrasound appointment I found out I had a huge subchoreonnic hemmorage. My Dr. said they are common, but we have to keep a close watch from the beginning. not gonna lie, I got in the car afterwards and just bawled. All the bad things consumed my thoughts. thinks like "here we go again. why can't i just have a normal pregnancy. I don't want to lose this baby. I hope i miscarry sooner than later, etc". obviously not healthy thoughts but given my past and my babies and pregnancies, they were valid thoughts.  My Dr. said that a lot of women have these types of hemorrhages, some go away on their own, others get bigger and get inside the babies sac, causing a miscarriage. So she basically told me there was a 50/50 chance with this baby. ugh talk about an anxiety attack. not really but close. I called my brother over to give me a blessing and that was much needed. I felt really calm afterwards. I still had bouts of anxiety here and there, but I went in often to check on the baby to calm my nerves.

GOOD VIBES ALL THE WAY :)