Deep Love

So a couple weeks ago I was asked to play in a rock opera called. "Deep Love."   I was skeptical at first because I had no idea how a rock opera would be.  When he said I'd get payed $25 an hour he sold me. haha. And I figured it'd be good experience.  Well it turned out to be awesome! Our first performance we found out we'd be getting our hair and makeup done pretty crazy...like dead people.  hahaha.  We had 2 performances in Rexburg, and 2 in Idaho Falls.  It was SUPER FUN! I don't necessarily like rock, but I grew to love the music that we played.  Here's some pics:

 Mckenzie and i went in the basement and we found this...haha pretty funny.

 Okay this picture speaks a thousand words.  So Mckenzie had 3 people redo her hair and make-up.  Well her last re-do the girl made her look like the joker! hahahaa she's doesn't look scary at all.  She and I, and the violist cried to the point of tears it was so hilarious.

I'm glad I was able to perform with these guys! It was super fun! My husband even came twice...haha what a sport.

Thoughts of the Day

I've been doing a lot of pondering today, about how this time would've marked a totally new adventure for Tanner and I.  We were due today actually, Octover  23. It's been interesting having gone through a miscarriage, and seeing women I love all around me, pregnant. When we found out,we also found out that 2 of my sisters, and 2 of my sister in laws were expecting. All of us were due within 3 months of each other. I was so excited to go through this with all of them. probably too excited, haha. The past 9 months have been difficult for me at times.  It's really been a struggle for me to see all my 'sisters' still be pregnant. Not that I'm mad at them for it at all, I just wish I was still pregnant like them!  But on the other hand, I'm super excited to have 4 new little ones to snuggle and hold and play with.  My sister Aubrey and I miscarried around the same time, and it was so comforting to have her there going through the same thing I was.  It really was a blessing at the time. I couldn't have done it without her. All our late night chats, really helped me. Thanks sis. She's now pregnant again, woohoo!  Tanner and I have always loved children, probably because we both still act like one :) I love the snuggles, the energy, the chats, and the fun that children bring. I can't wait for that day when I can have one to call my own.

When Tan and I got married, I had no idea what we'd be going through to try and have a child.  A year of fertility treatments wasn't what I expected.  But I'll tell you what, getting pregnant on the second treatment has left us with a little ray of hope and sunshine, because we DID get pregnant.  So it CAN happen.  And I know it can.  It may not be the right time, or it may just be a bump in the road, but we haven't lost hope. I recognize now that God has his hand in all things, and that it will happen when HIS timing is right.  It's taken me a while to realize that, but I realize it now.

There's something that's been on my mind through this whole experience, and since this is basically my journal, I'm just gonna express it.  I have been very frustrated at times when people say things like, "You've been married for 2 years and don't have a baby?" or "so...when are you gonna have a baby?" or..."Any new news?" or "oh you're on fertility treatments....those aren't good for your body.." etc, etc.  Going through this has made me see people in a new light.  You really don't know what a person is going through.  All you can see of a person is their outward appearance, but on the inside, everyone has something that is causing them heartache. everyone does.  whether its a new job, can't have a child, divorce, stress at home, arguments, etc. everyone has something in their lives that is causing them to hurt. When people have made those kind of comments to me, I used to just tell people we weren't trying for a while, but that was a lie. So, I started saying things like, "Well, we actually have been trying for a year and a half."  or "I had a miscarriage this past march."  Not that I want to say those things to be rude or make them feel stupid, but I say them to help people understand that these things are personal, and it's not necessary or considerate to ask a couple why they can't have a child.

Having gone through this, I am grateful.  I'm grateful because it has taught me to really not judge people. To not ask people invasive questions about their lives, and to not say things before I think. Words can be a very powerful thing, we just need to learn to use them in the right way.  I'm grateful to all the people that are supporting Tanner and I and that use their words in a kind, gentle, and courteous manner. We love our friends and family!

This just cracks me up.  I am definitely getting this for our child.  It would put a smile on anyones face. hahahahahaha love it.

                      Or better yet this one....to honor my husbands hideous mustache....haha

Anyway, today is a good day. A day full of pondering, thinking, and wondering. :)

This just made me bawl like a baby:
http://www.faithit.com/a-powerful-story-of-love-and-commitment-you-wont-forget/

Annual Pumpkin Carving

It's become a tradition to carve pumpkins with our friends, Becca and Mitch.  We did it last year when they were engaged, and now this year when we're all married.  I've never been a huge fan of Halloween but I decided I want to do at least one festive thing for each holiday. It's more fun that way!  I found this super fun idea on pinterest to make ghosts out of milk jugs...and I just HAD to try it.  I love how they turned out!  All you do is cut a hole at the bottom of the handle to put your tea light in, then you draw your ghost face with a permanent marker, and walah.  It's a ghost....haha.  I thought it was fun and different for a change. Anyway, so I made 3 ghosts, while Tanner and Becca and Mitch carved pumpkins.  Tan made a cyclopes pumpkin HAHAHA it's hilarious. We roasted the pumpkin seeds and man were they to die for! Word of advice: melt butter and pour it over the seeds, then sprinkle with season salt. AMAZING! Last year we just used cooking spray with season salt. The butter makes a world of difference! We took pictures in the freezing 20 degree weather, and then watched Hocus Pocus.  classic.  Thanks Becca and Mitch! Happy Halloween ya'll!

p.s. this is me for halloween.

2 years?! Really?

I just can't believe that Tan and I have been married for 2 years.  It has flown by!! Well, our day was magical and we were lucky enough to spend the whole day together.  His work is quite slow right now and they don't need him this week...I told him it is a blessing in disguise so that we could spend the day together. We enjoyed sleeping in till 9, I made him breakfast with heart-shaped pancakes and our favorite syrup, talked and reminisced of 2 years ago, and then I went to work for 3 hours.  When I came home, he had cleaned the whole house :) He also had a cute little flower on the table that receives water through icecubes...hahaha I thought that was so funny and random. He also prepared lunch, and had Jimmy Johns sandwiches hiding in the oven.  He was planning on taking us to Cave Falls and reliving our first date, but it was SUPER windy and cold, so we relived it at home instead.  We looked back on pictures of when we dated and all the fun dates we went on. We also looked at our engagement photos, and photos of the many adventures of the 2 years we've been married.  Man we are a crazy couple...haha but I wouldn't want it any other way. It's more fun being unique :) That's our motto.

We both had massive headaches and felt a little crappy after lunch so we took naps and relaxed for a while.  We decided we were boring and didn't want our headaches to ruin our day...so we picked up and drove to Idaho Falls. We gave ourselves a budget of $200 dollars each to spend. We didn't even spend half of that! woot go us. We went to the mall, and i got some cowboy boots and a leather jacket, oh and a set of pink tools.  With a man like Tan who's life revolves around tools and building, I had to get me a set of pink ones. Tanner got a trimmer to trim his mustache as a anniversary gift to me. HAHAHAHA. He actually looked attractive after he trimmed it... :) We had so much fun in the mall. We felt like little kids just joking around and laughing at things in the stores. We went to home depot so Tanner could dream of having every single tool in that store.(maybe someday...) It was torture, but good for him :) bwahaha I'm an evil wife.

We were going to go out to eat for dinner, but nothing sounded good to us.  SO...we went home and had mac n cheese, garlic bread, and butterfinger milkshakes. haha such a healthy meal. But man was it delicious.  We reminisced of our wedding day, and tried to remember the little details of the day.  It's so fun to look back on the best day of our lives. Then we relaxed, watched our show, REVENGE (such a good show we are obsessed) and watched the last episode of that.

SUCH A FUN DAY!  I just am so grateful to have the funny, crazy, hilarious, hardworking husband that I do.  He teaches me something everyday, and more importantly, makes me laugh every single day of my life.  There's not a day that goes by where I don't love him more and more. He's the cherry to my cheesecake, and I feel so blessed to be married to him!

LOVE YOU TAN-HAPPY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!
Love,
Wifey

oh ya p.s. someone stole our moped a couple weeks ago. WHO DOES THAT?!?! Yeah...I'm still a little bitter about it. That thing was my baby.

Here's some pics of our love day.

                                                 We have fun. and we are in love.

Decisions, Decisions...

So I've never really been the greatest at making decisions.  I don't know why, but I just never have been. I'm working on that, haha. When I got married, it was a interesting realization when I realized that I no longer had "mommy and daddy" to everything for me.  Laundry, paying bills, making decisions for me, giving me advice, cooking me dinner, giving me rides, etc.  I think that it was partly my fault too that I had such a hard time with 'responsibility' when I got married.  It sounds so silly, but I have learned so much about being responsible. Responsibility means making your own decisions, and being confident and sure about them. Well, I made a big decision this week.  It took me 9 months to make the decision...BUT...I made it and I am so glad I did!!  I decided it was time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Where I wanted to be, and what I wanted to be doing and accomplishing.  I got my associates degree from Byu-Idaho, and after that I felt like I needed to do more.  I couldn't just quit with that! Nowadays you can't get a job with an associates degree. So, after much thought, praying, searching, and learning to make my own decisions, I decided on doing...
Dun, Dun, Dun...

DENTAL ASSISTING!!

I feel really good about this decision.  And my decision-making hasn't always felt like this. It's kind of been an interesting journey.  I applied at EITC in Idaho Falls, and got put on the waiting list. One of the admissions counselors said he thought there was a good chance people would drop and I'd get in.   Well, that didn't happen and I was quite sad.  So, I looked at other options and found 2 other programs close that were 4000-$5000.  They offered no financial aid, no pell grants, no scholarships, nothin.  And in Idaho, to be an assistant you don't even have to have any formal education.  So...I found an online program.  I thought it was a little sketchy, so I took 9 stinking months and researched and found out everything I could about it.  It was super cheap, and everything was strictly online.  Well, that's the one I went with!! Woot woot!

I am so excited to start this new phase in my life.  It feels good knowing that you're working towards something that interests you and gets you excited.  Dental work has always intrigued me because my mouth has so many problems....hahaha.  So, we'll see how this goes!

I have also decided to start teaching violin lessons!! For anyone and everyone. wahoo!

It's amazing what the Lord can do when you turn to him, put your trust in him, and believe that everything will work out.

Dental Assisting here I come!