baby?

Well, we have made it to 32.5 weeks. I'l be 33 weeks on Friday!

The past few days, I've been having a lot of cramping that feels like I'm starting my period, and a HORRIBLE backache! The backache has been so bad it's kept me up at night.  I finally decided to call my Dr. today just to be safe.  Well, it's a good thing I did! They checked everything out and found I have a yeast infection, I'm 80% effaced already, and she pretty much just wants out! haha. Their famous words every time I go in are, "wow! you have the hardest stomach we have ever seen/felt!" hahaha. Poor baby girl doesn't have any room to move around in there.

they left me with these words......

"Well, since you are already 80% effaced, expect her to come anytime from now until 2 weeks."

AHH!!!! Freaked me out a little. they hooked me up to a monitor for an hour and said that I'm having a lot more contractions than usual at the point that I'm at. Since I'm high-risk and preterm delivery runs in my family, they are going to keep a close eye on me and little miss.

Am I scared?
yes.
Am I nervous?
yes.
Am I ready?
Not really- haven't really got her room put together or anything.

BUT....I've gotta be ready. She could come tomorrow, she could come next week, she will be here within 2 weeks!! It's a crazy thought.

They did an ultrasound on me today and I saw her HAIR! CURLY HAIR!!! ahh. I'm excited to see what she looks like, but I REALLY am hoping she stays in there until I'm at 34 weeks. 34 weeks is more of a milestone for her.

For now, I have to go in twice a week to get a shot in my butt to help her lungs fully develop. They also told me to stop working....so now I'm a homebody :)



I'm a little nervous, but I know that God will help pull us through this.  I feel like everything is going to be okay, I just need to be calm.


Here's some pics of me and her at 32 weeks!
She's about the size of a squash. I feel like she's a lot bigger than that though haha.

Oh ya, I didn't blog about this but this past saturday, Tanner and I went to an 8 hour birthing class!!!! hahahaha yeah I pretty much made Tanner go with me.  He wasn't too excited at first, but we both came out of the class glad we went! I definitely learned a lot and helped put my mind at ease on some things.

My 2 besties Lexi and Becca threw me a baby shower the end of January, and I got some really great stuff! 'baby girl got spoiled :) I got a pack n play, a bouncer, tons of cute pink clothes haha, diapers, wipes, blankets, and more!! I'm grateful for all my friends and family that went.

Here's some pics :

 I love these girls so much.

I LOVE this picture of me and Lexi. Best friends since we were 6 years old, now we're having baby girls together. Hopefully they will be as good of friends as she and I have been all these years! Lexi's due 5 weeks ahead of me. We will see which baby girl comes first! :) ahh!!!!

Here's to hoping little miss stays in there for at LEAST 2 more weeks  :) We can do it.

A positive thought

Despite all the heartache and struggles this new year has brought Tanner and I so far, I sit here with my blinds open, with the sun shining in on my face, with sunday music playing in the background, watching my dog swing his turkey around the kitchen, missing Tanner hoping he's safe, feeling my baby girl kick and twirl around, all while pondering about my Savior and his Atonement.

Why did our Father sacrifice his Son for me?

why?

I guess it's the trials I have that direct my thoughts to my Savior. I guess that is why we have them. So we can turn to our Father and receive answers, and ponder back on what our Savior did for us so that we could be happy.

It's an incredible thing really. Life isn't easy, and it gives us lemons. I've definitely had my share of lemons. And after  I make lemonade with those lemons, my thoughts are always turned to that of the Gospel, and why I am here.

I am reminded a lot that I am a daughter of God and that my Father is aware of me and my trials. He knows what Tanner and I can handle, and he will NEVER give us more than we can handle. He knows what we need in our lives, and He is always there. We just have to turn to Him.  

Despite trials that come, I sit here in GRATITUDE for what I have.

-a wonderful, hardworking husband.
-a dog that is so loyal it's unreal.
-SUNSHINE!!
-a warm house
-Kind parents that let us house sit for them while they're gone
-a healthy baby girl that kicks and does somersaults inside me all day long
-the gospel
-good friends
-FAMILY
-The priesthood.  Tanner's dad gave both Tanner and I blessings last week. What a blessing it is to have worthy priesthood holders in our lives.
-And lastly, my Savior.

Not much to my thought, but I just am grateful. Grateful that God gave me breath, and that he gives me trials when I need to turn to Him.

Happy sunday :)

Gestational Diabetes

I failed my first glucose test :(
I had to go back 2 weeks later for a 4 hour glucose tolerance test.  And...I failed that one too. Kind of a bummer, but whatdya do.

So..I have gestational diabetes.  A kind of diabetes that only pregnant women get. There's a 50% chance after a woman delivers that she will get type 2 diabetes later. And heaven forbid I don't want that.

They gave me a whole stack of papers to read, and I was off.  Not going to lie it was pretty overwhelming at first. They basically told me I had to go on this extensive diet, watch what i eat, prick myself 5 times a day, so that my baby doesn't end up being 15 lbs when she's born.

That's not what a mom to be wants to hear!  I met with a nurse the next day that explained things to me in more detail. It was so much information I just was overwhelmed. I basically have to count my carbs, but I can't leave out my carbs either. They have me on a strict day to day plan as to how many carbs, proteins, grains, etc that I have to eat throughout the day.
So...Tanner helped me make meal plans and I went to the store and bought totally new and strange food.
Pricking myself 5x a day hasn't been fun at all, but the last thing I want my baby to do is to be 15 lbs, and to have diabetes once she's born. So i'll do all I can to not let that happen and to make sure that she gets here healthy and strong.
 I have to carry this thing around with me all day.

But it's okay, it's keeping me and my baby girl healthy.  :)

She sure is growing by the way!! We've made it to 30 weeks.

I'm so glad she's still in there.  Tanner and I are hoping she will stay in there until at least MARCH- that's our goal :)
We love you sis and can't wait to meet you in 9 short weeks or less!!

Sometimes life throws us curveballs

One of my lasts posts was about our new pickup and how we FINALLY found the one that we've been searching for for a long time.
Well, Tanner got a job offer in Brigham City to redo a hotel down there.  We were both hesitant about it at first because we've wanted to keep our business local, but we could've used the money at the time. Tan was scheduled to be down there for 10 days, and was really excited about it. He and our employee headed down there at 5:30 am.  When Tanner woke me up to tell me he was leaving and he loved me, I just didn't have a really good feeling about him going. I kept telling him that, but I was bawling at the same time and so I thought it was just my pregnancy hormones, and me not liking to be alone.
Well, the morning after they left, I get a call at 9:30 in the morning from my panicked husband.  I did not like the sound in his voice. He was crying and was very upset. He began to tell me that someone just ran into him, and the trailer and the truck were both crushed, and lots of his tools were scattered in the intersection....

.....as a pregnant, emotional wife that wasn't the most comforting thing I wanted to hear.

He was stopped at a red stop light in Brigham City (15 minutes away from the hotel), and someone ran into the back of the trailer going about 50 mph. Tanner said that the guy was a real jerk. Tanner asked him if he was texting while he was driving and the guy said, "I dunno dude, I guess I just spaced it for a sec."

That surely didn't help the situation at all. The police showed up and Tanner said this was one of the most frustrating parts of it all. Tanner asked the police if they could check his phone to see if he was texting, or to give him a drug test, or SOMETHING to find out what on earth the guy was doing that caused him to just 'space it for a sec.' The police told Tanner that they legally couldn't perform a drug test or look at his phone. And they wouldn't tell Tanner why.

So there Tanner is, looking at his crushed trailer and pickup, and expensive ruined tools scattered in the intersection- left with no answers as to what the guy was doing. The police gave the guy a citation for 'inattentive driving,' and the guy was off. just like that. pretty ridiculous if you ask me.

This is the picture Tanner sent me. The worst part about it all was that the guy that hit Tanner was driving a tiny cadillac car...and it did ALL this damage.

But anyway, long story short, after several hours, Tanner got a rental car, and headed for home. while his whole life was just sitting at an intersection- ruined. All because of somebody else's stupid decision.

This whole thing has been a huge mess, and has made Tanner and I realize how much other people's actions effect those around them. this has been a very trying trail for us, especially Tanner. His most prized possessions are all ruined, and he did nothing wrong. I think that's what's been getting to him the most is that he was obeying the law, just stopped at a stop sign, and someone decides to do something stupid, and ruin his life.  It's been a rough week trying to figure out all the damage that's been done, and trying to work with the insurances to get our stuff back.

Our insurance thinks we committed insurance fraud on our pickup. We bought the pickup 2 weeks ago, switched insurances on it, and the same week the truck is totalled. We all know we didn't do it on purpose, but our insurance won't give us any $$ for our belongings or anything, until they clear that.  It's been over a week and we are still waiting.
our insurance also said they won't cover any medical expenses for Tanner's injuries. Even though we pulled up our insurance plan and could see that he has medical coverage, they still say they won't pay. why? no idea. frustrating? yes.

So....very frustrating but all we can do is be patient and be GRATEFUL that Tanner is still alive.  Seriously. I can't imagine losing him right now. Especially with a new baby on the way! We are lucky he is alive.  That's all I can say.

A few days after the accident, Tanner and I drove down to logan where they towed our truck and trailer to see if anything was still salvageable. This was the part that got to me more than anything. I had seen pictures of the trailer, but it was WAY worse in person.  I was overcome with emotion that my poor husband was still alive.  Look at these pictures....

We pulled up and this was all I saw....

I seriously just couldn't believe it! I was in awe the whole time. And I just kept thinking how a tiny cadillac car did all this damage. it was unbelievable.

Luckily we were able to grab some small things like extension cords, hammers, wrenches, etc. ALL of Tan's big expensive saws and stands and things were completely ruined.  Ugh man still looking at these pics it makes me sick. But so glad that my husband is alive.

The past 2 weeks or so have been pretty rough, with Tanner not being able to work, but we all know that things happen for a reason. We are just trying to figure out why this happened.

I really am SO grateful that Tanner is still alive, and only came out of the whole thing with a hurt neck and back. It could've been so worse for him.

"Tools can be replaced, but a human body can't.'  That's been my motto to Tanner the past week :)