grateful

So, due to my last post, I've been frustrated just with life in general.  Well, besides my frustrations, another tender mercy happened to me today.  Tanner and I have volleyball class together every Tuesday and Thursday, and today was a frustrating day for both of us!  We got put on the same team (by accident haha) and were both the team setters.  The people we get to play with are very inexperienced, and some of them are even beginners.  Well, the setter position usually are the ones that help the team get going, and explain to them how everything works.  It was hard being the setter and trying to get everyone to be in the right spot at the right time.  One of the girls on our team complained to coach that tanner and I were yelling and not really explaining things to her. Well, turns out we were only trying to help.  Anyway, I was getting down on myself because this girl thought I was yelling at her.  I've never been one to yell at people, or even get mad at them.  So it was just kind of weird to me.  Well, as Tanner and I got home we were talking about the day and just how you can't really change people.  They have to have the desire to change, and to be better.  Just like our volleyball class, if you want to get better you actually have to act and ask questions.  You only get better by experience.  I was really frustrated for who knows why, but oh well.

 So I got onto my BYU-Idaho finances, and i was filling out my FAFSA.  As I was doing that, Tanner and I noticed that I had money just sitting in my BYU-Idaho account.  I had no idea it was there!  And it was an exceeding amount of money I'd gotten from scholarships.  I won't tell you how much it was, but let's just say that I am so grateful.  First, I am grateful for my Dad.  Because he is a religion professor at BYU-Idaho, I get 4 years of half tuition payed for.  If you think about that, people would DIE to be able to have that.  I've never really thought about it as a blessing, I've just always been like "Oh, that's cool."  But man, now as I'm married and poor, I cherish every penny I see. Ya know, I don't know why but some people think down upon teachers, because their profession doesn't make as much money as others.  But you know what, my Dad is so knowledgeable in the gospel, and is such a blessing to so many people around him, including me.  Thanks Dad, for being a blessing in my life.  For helping me pay for college.  For helping me get an education.  For just being you.  I love you Dad!

Last but not least, I am so grateful for my eternal Father.  For giving me trials.  Last night while playing wallyball, I dove for a ball and landed flat on my tushy.  I came home and couldn't walk, and could hardly sleep.  It happened at the most inconvenient time too.  That always seems to happen, and it always baffles me why trials come when they do.  But I'm starting to realize why.  They seem to come at times when you really need them.  At times when you need to be strengthened.  It's easy to just want to give up, and not keep going.  But that is not how I'm going to be- I am going to keep going.  Life is worth living.  It seems like the past 6 months have been chuck full of trials.  And It's been hard.  But it's been to help me, because I need it. Life comes at you when you least expect it, but it's when you most need it that they come.  I am in the Symphony Orchestra on campus, and oh boy is it hard! I got into the first violin section as the 3rd stand.  I was shocked when I found out that's where I was sitting.  I got a scholarship my first semester here, and it just keeps rising and rising.  I've been looking at the Orchestra in a negative way, that I'm not very good, and everyone in there is way better than I am.  I've realized that that's why I'm still in the orchestra, and still getting money for playing in it.  I am good!  I just don't realize it yet.  I am so privileged to be in the orchestra- I get a $600 scholarship every semester for crying out loud!  There are so many things to be grateful for- I've just been missing the whole point.  Things that we often times don't realize- are our greatest blessings.

 Oh my heart is just full today.  Every day I am finding something new to be grateful for, and it is just amazing how our Heavenly Father works.  I am so grateful for Him for giving me the trials that He has.  I am finding out that He wants us to succeed- and that's why He has given me these trials.  So I can learn to overcome them, and to look towards Him for help.  I am blessed to even be here on this earth, so I need to live up to my potential. and strive to be like Him and enjoy the trials that come.