ARIZONA!!!!

Yes. So I took a much needed break and went to Arizona for 4 days. IT WAS SO FUN! I owe it to my sis and her hubby for everything. I think it was a nice break for both Ash and I.
So a little pre-story. I wanted to surprise Ash and go down to Arizona for her birthday. Well, we were talking on the phone and I got a LITTLE excited and blew it. I was quite annoyed. But...then we were able to plan better so I guess it was a good thing :)

I got there Sunday night on April 27. The plane ride was fun- I love flying and looking at all the puffy clouds. Sometimes I just want to jump on them. haha.

                                I mean look at these. Wouldn't they be the best trampoline ever?

Anyway- the heat when I got off the plane was the best thing ever. I was longing for that. I got to Ash and Ethan's house and it was so pretty!  They made a delicious dinner- which Ethan burnt haha but it was still yummy. This is what Ashley does when she cuts onions hahaha. I was dying.

                              A little playtime with Mr. Beau. He's the cutest little thing ever.

Ash and I went on a nice long walk in the WARM nighttime- and had a nice chat.
We created a bucket list of all the things we wanted to do- we had a ball coming up with things. I'll show the list later.

Next day, Monday, we got up early and went to the ZOO!!! It was hot. but so fun. We were there for 5 hours!!! Wyatt loved it. Here's some pics:

                                                        this noodle cracked me up. haha.

 this cheetah kept making weird noises. there were so many people around his cage that I think he got overwhelmed. he was making grunting noises. No one was really sure what was going on.

                                                          cute wyatt. I just love him.

                                                                       cutie pies.

After the zoo we came home and relaxed for a bit then went to the POOL!!! I didn't get any pics unfortunately but it was so fun. you can never go wrong with a pool in my opinion.
Later that night we went....


Drum roll please.....



SCORPION HUNTING!!! Yeah that's right. it was SO COOL! I actually loved it. Apparently their skeletons are transparent, and they are nocturnal so they only come out at night. And you can only see them if you shine a black light on them. So....we went searching on brick walls by the pool, in their backyard, anywhere. They like to sneak in and out of the cracks so once you shine the black light on them you have to hurry and smash them. haha. So we brought a hammer with us, and we found a total of 8. I enjoyed smashing them against the walls :)

 
Here's a pic of one. It was really quite interesting.
Before bed, Wyatt and I made ash a b-day card and decorated the house with fun b-day stuff.
Eth, Ash and I stayed up talking and eventually went to bed pretty late haha.

Next day, April 29! ASH's BDAY!
Wyatt, Beau and I woke up Ashley up and crawled into bed with her. Look at these adorable bed-head faces. Love them.


 

They've got the cheesiest grins. I absolutely love it.

Eth and I had the whole day planned- it was driving Ashley nuts. That's why we did it. She hates not knowing what's going on. :)

So we started off by going to Kneaders for breakfast. yummmm. Ash got a free cupcake. She wanted to see how many free things she could get on her b-day so there was #1 :)
Then Eth and I thought it would be fun to go to the arcade. because who doesn't love the arcade??  We spent quite a bit but it was totally worth it. Ash and I did this fun dancing game haha- so fun.  Here's some pics:

wyatt and i playing deal or no deal.

Oh yeah I almost forgot- so we all left the house matching so we wouldn't lose each other. Wyatt and Beau were completely matching with cut-off shirts and basketball shorts. cuteness.

After the arcade, we went to the... MALL!!!
Here's some pics:

                                                                  All of us matching :)

K these boots were the cutest things ever! and we found out that a 92 year old man hand makes them.

We walked through rainforest cafe. Wyatt was in heaven! K we stumbled upon this creepy tree lady. who talked. hahahahaha.

                                                     Wyatt lovin his massive frog hat.

One of the reasons I wanted to go to AZ was to convince/make Ashley get her ears pierced. haha. she's always wanted to do it but couldn't the guts up to do it. So...that was my b-day gift to her was pierced ears. I told her I had a surprise for her, we walked into Claire's and her face just dropped. Eth and I weren't about to let her leave without getting them pierced! no way. She kept chickening out- until she found a pair of earrings that caught her eye- then she was hooked.
Here's some pics: she was pretty nervous it was cracking me up.

So this was her while the lady was prepping to pierce them.

I thought she was going to have a heart-attack. Ethan and I were dying of laughter.

But she did it....and she loved it. Check out this sweet video. copy and paste the link to watch it. It's worth it.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10154109287035527&l=3815181999229995151

I'm glad we convinced her to do it. I think she's glad too whatdya think?

                                                             Look at those beauties in her ears.

We went into a Disney store and these cute ladies gave Ashley the birthday crown and a happy birthday pin. Oh yeah they also sang to her! It was priceless.

We kept walking around the mall and Ash and I bought sunglasses, and some other random birthday things.

For din-din we took her to.....OLIVE GARDEN!!! yum. it was divine.
Look at this cuteness.

We went home and were all exhausted. But...of course we stayed up again talking :)
It was a good day.

Next day, the 30th, we meant to get up early but we were so exhausted we alll slept in. including the kiddos haha. Ash and I went to a temple session in the newly dedicated Gilbert temple!

Very pretty. I loved all the palm trees around the temple.

Then we came home and went to the pool again. This is the only pic i got. I think Beau was freezing. Wyatt and I enjoyed playing catch with a mini volleyball.

Wyatt had preschool so we picked him up after it was done and went on a bikeride/roller blade ride. Ash was on roller blades and me and Wyatt on bikes. Wyatt took me to the park to show me all the BB guns he collects. Apparently you can find several BB's in the sand at the playground. I didn't get a pic but Wyatt had 2 baby jars full of them!

For dinner we went to RED ROBIN!

 Wyatt is so hilarious. The whole time I was there he did the funniest things! He's definitely his mothers child.

                                                              Cute pic of eth and wyatt.

Man I got spoiled going out to dinner like every night!
We visited Ethan's grandma nana, and talked with her for quite a while. Eth showed me around the house he grew up in- we visited with his brother and grandma for a while- nice people.

So since it was my last night there....we attempted staying up. Ash and I eventually fell asleep on the floor- and eth went to bed. Pretty sure we fell asleep while we were all talking. we were exhausted! Had too much fun :)

Thurs morning we slept in a bit and I got to play with my cute little beau beau. I couldn't get enough of his cheesy smiles!

Wyatt had a field trip for his preschool class. GOING TO THE GROCERY STORE! We all had to wear hats so we wouldn't get germs in any of the food. They even made Beau wear a hair net..it was hilarious.

Everyone in Wyatt's class had to wear a hat- wyatt's was the best by far.

                                                      hahaha look at his goofy pose.

I love him to pieces.

We marked on our bucket list everything that we did. I was surprised with how many things we did in just 4 short days!

We'll have to check off the rest next time I go down there :)

To sum up the trip, I made this collage to sum up my loves. Cheesy nephews, a awesome sister, a rad brother in law, and the temple. Nothing is better than family, laughs, and the gospel. I had SUCH a great trip- and can't wait to go down there again! Thanks Eth and Ash!

                           
Ash and I were joking about selfie's and how ridiculous they are- so of course I had to take one on the plane and send it to her.

Funny story to end: I sat in the wrong seat on the plane ride home. Yeah- not sure how that happened but I screwed up like 3 people's seats! hahaha.

See ya Arizona- till next time :)

The meaning of easter

I've watched this video several times this week, isn't it amazing what Christ did for us so that we could live with He and Heavenly Father again? He chose to die and be resurrected for all of us, so that we could start over, and become more like Him.
I'm no expert at this whatsoever, but how comforting to know that we can start over any day, every day, a zillion times over.

Happy Easter. I wish I had my bunny hahaha.

copy and paste to watch:

https://www.lds.org/topics/easter?lang=eng&query=the+resurrection+of+jesus

I love Pres. Monson's simple testimony of Christ's resurrection.

My moped...has been found.

HALLELUJAH. I seriously love my moped. it's fun. and it's hilarious seeing peoples reaction when I'm riding it. SO WORTH IT! hahahaha. And heck it costs $4 to fill up. Anyway....so here's the story. I'll try to make it not super long.

So....Tanner and I just recently bought a pick-up for his construction stuff. We were talking about which car to sell, etc. I literally said this to him last Friday..."Babe, I wish I just had my moped. That would solve everything." That same day I was looking on craigslist because we were maybe going to buy another moped if we found a good deal. Not kidding you....I typed in 'moped' on craigslist, and the VERY FIRST ONE THAT POPPED UP WAS MY STINKIN' MOPED!!!...that we've been searching for for 7 months.The best part...he was asking $400 for it. HAHAHAHA. we bought it for like half that.
 I couldn't believe it. I called Tanner, and he didn't believe me. (because I had called him before saying I found it...haha) I searched every little detail in the pictures he provided before I totally freaked out. I had tanner get on and look, and sure enough. It was ours. So....I continued to freak out. Because I was way excited. I got off work at 2 and so Tanner and I took the rest of the day searching for it. We examined where he took the pictures, and drove around Rexburg trying to find exactly where he took them.
It was hilarious.
We were getting a kick out of ourselves.
We felt like little kids.

We were driving in and out of apartment complexes, and finally....
WE FOUND EXACTLY WHERE THE THIEF TOOK THE DANG PICTURES.

we drove around in shock, and got out and walked around. The moped was nowhere to be found.

A little side note: We've been watching a lot of CSI stuff on Netflix. So- it's kind of gotten us into undercover CSI work. We felt cool.

So, we thought about calling the guy and setting up a time to meet and drive the moped as a fake buyer. but...we didn't want to get in trouble either. So- I called my cousin Braden who's a deputy for Madison county and asked him what we should do. He had the same idea that we did- so he met up with the guy, and asked him if he could drive it around the block to try it out. Braden said the guy was really nervous to let him do that...haha.

So, Braden rode it around the block, and had 2 cops waiting for him so they could check the VIN number. Sure enough- it was the same as ours. BWAHAHA.

So with the cops escorting Braden on the moped- they drove back to the guys apartment- told him he was under arrest for stolen property, and handcuffed him.

All the while, Tanner and I are still driving around trying to find it. We didn't know Braden was already there gettin the job done. this is the text that I get from braden....

                                                                             busted.

We laughed our guts out. We went to the police station and talked to braden and the policemen. We looked down the hall into a cell- and the kid was praying. hahaha. and wearing a BYU-Idaho shirt. I don't know why that makes it so much better... it just does.

So...the guy beat my moped up. literally. It must've fallen over or something because there's scratches, and paint dings, and missing parts, and stuff. So- we are getting restitution and charging the idiot that stole our moped :) The guy claimed his boss gave him the moped, so whether that's true or not- they could both be in jail. hehe.

It was a pretty good day. We definitely laughed a lot. and had a hilarious time trying to find it. And for whoever it was that stole my moped- I hope they learned their lesson :)

25 years old!

Well, Tanner is now 25. He thinks he's getting really old. haha.

 Long story short: We've been looking for a pick-up for quite a while now. We've been trying to find just the one for us. Tanner started his own construction business in February-ish, and after trying to haul sheet rock in our little Honda accord- we decided it just was not working. It was a fun memory hauling sheet rock in our tiny car- but it really was just unrealistic.

So....we took his bday weekend and found the one! Happy birthday my love!!

Yes- we kind of spoiled him this year.

Love you sugar.

We love you Tuff!!

Well, the past 2 weeks have been hard. It's been hard to stay positive, and it's been hard to tell family, friends, and the Facebook world.  I really can't complain though. The actual birth of our little tuff guy went so smoothly, I couldn't be more grateful for that.

I've decided since I've already kind of gone through this once, that I would really like to be okay with this, and deal with it sooner than later.  My miscarriage last year I know was just preparing me for what was to come, and I've already noticed it's made a difference. I can't imagine how much harder this would be had I not experienced something similar a year ago. Obviously they are a bit different, but they were both still a loss of mine,  and both still dear to my heart.

I've learned with my previous trials that for me, it helps to talk about it, and not hold anything in.  my poor husband is probably going nuts :)

I'm not going to give all the details of what's been going on, but enough for me and Tanner to remember down the road.

April 1- we had our 20 week ultrasound.  Weeks previous I had been telling Tanner my stomach felt different, and I felt like it stopped growing or something. I didn't think anything of it- I just thought it was my brain being weird. Well, I was right. The ultrasound tech was getting measurements and her face just kind of dropped. She didn't say anything to us for a few minutes, and then she looked at us and said... "There's no heartbeat. I'm so sorry."

My heart....
dropped.
sunk.

was empty.

It didn't help that it was April Fools Day and everyone knows Tanner and I are jokers.

They gave Tanner and I the room to ourselves and we just sobbed. Sobbed until we couldn't anymore.  We felt helpless, and empty.
literally.
I just couldn't believe it.  Everything up to this point looked perfectly normal, they didn't suspect anything.  They said that the baby measured 16 weeks, so they figured its heart stopped beating around then.  Well...we heard the heartbeat at our 16 week ultrasound and the babe was goin nuts.

So....I dunno. Doesn't make sense to us.

So, the doc came in and told us our 'options.' I hate that word. But, he basically said I was too far
along to have a D &C, so I'd have to deliver it.  Just the thought of that was sickening to me....

I have to deliver our dead child.

Definitely something I never thought I'd have to say.

So...long story short, we decided to wait until Thursday, the 3rd of April to take the pills to induce labor. Tan didn't work Thursday or Friday so we would have the whole weekend just in case.  I took the first pill at 4 am, and nothing. Next pill at 8 am, nothing. It was frustrating that nothing was happening. I just wanted to get it over with and nothing was progressing. Finally at about 4pm I was having more contractions. We didn't want to be in the hospital longer than needed, so I was trying to
hold out as long as possible. We got to the hospital at like 5:30, because Dr. Lovell said he was concerned I was having chest pain, and wanted me to be monitored. Well we got there, and the nurse said I was having very mild contractions, and was hardly progressing at all.

I was quite overwhelmed when I got there. Questions were being shot at me all over the place.
"So do you guys want to see your baby?"
"Do you want to hold your baby?"
"Do you want to have a burial service?"
There was probably others I don't remember. But we hadn't even thought about any of that so it was a bit overwhelming.

Tan and I were finally able to be alone after IV's and monitoring, and several nurses. It was good to be alone and just talk about things.  I sure love that man of mine.

My parents came at like 6:30 and sure did brighten up the room. My mom was in a hilarious mood,
and I'm so grateful. She was telling funny birth stories, and was just laughing nonstop. We had some nice chats, and I'm so glad they were there. They definitely made the wait in the hospital not as long and depressing.

Nothing was happening still and it was 7:30. So...they had to give me meds vaginally. Never been in so much pain in my life. From then until 11, things progressed a little more. Had to do more meds
vaginally to get things rolling. I seriously wanted to die it hurt so much. But, I was glad things were progressing.

The nurse gave me a sleeping pill, and put together tan's hideously non-comfortable bed :)
We were exhausted. We both tried to sleep. I didn't sleep much, but he did, which I was glad. Those poor beds are awfully uncomfortable.

I couldn't sleep much because of the pain, but at about midnight the nurse gave me morphine and that helped a lot and I was finally able to fall asleep. HALLELUJAH.

I slept for about 1.5 hours and then the pain kept getting worse. I knew something was gonna happen
soon.

Sure enough, at 1:15am, our little one was born. I seriously couldn't have asked for the delivery to go smoother than it did. Even my Dr. and the nurses kept saying that usually these deliveries are pretty bad and they have to do a D&C afterwards.

They asked us what we wanted to name "her," because we weren't sure if it was a boy or girl- and so
the Dr. took like 10 minutes figuring it if it was a girl or a boy...sure enough Tanner got his little boy he'd been telling everyone about for 5 months :) It just seemed perfect to name him Tuff. Every since we found out, Tanner's been telling everyone and anyone that it's a boy and he's gonna name him Tuff. It was kind of a joke- so we couldn't not name him that. Tuff Ronnie Stevens. It seemed perfect.
 Tuff for Tanner, Ronnie after my dad, and Stevens after Tan's dad.

Holding our sweet little boy was the most precious, and bittersweet thing I've ever experienced. It was actually a very spiritual experience for me. He weighed 2 oz, or 52 grams.  The nurses brought him in to us wearing a sweet little crocheted hat, and booties, wrapped in a crocheted blanket.
Here's a pic. It doesn't do it justice- but the hat and booties are the tiniest, cutest things I've ever seen.

He looked so peaceful and perfect- I just wanted to stare at him and hold him forever. His cute little body parts just broke my heart.

They were all there...
They were SO little....
and his feet and hands...oh my gosh. The cutest things I seriously have ever seen. His little toes. I just couldn't stop staring at them. They were perfect, all 10 of them :)


It was comforting to know that he was back in the presence of our Heavenly Father, and was happy there with our other little baby. They are probably best friends up there- cheering Tanner and I on :)

Tanner and I find comfort in knowing that he received his body, and that we could provide that for him.

I had the sweetest nurses. I had 2 while I was there- and one of them especially- her name was Jill. She crocheted the hat, booties, and blanket, and made a matching necklace and ring. Such a thoughtful woman. She also gave me a blanket to hold whenever I want to feel his presence and be
comforted.

I honestly wasn't expecting to take anything home with us- I had no idea what they were going to do- if anything. But I am so grateful they gave me what they did! Here's pics of what they gave us:

                                 A cute journal and the blanket she crocheted and wrapped Tuff in.

                             His adorable footprints- along with a necklace and matching ring :)

                                     His "memory box," and super soft blanket from my nurse Jill :)

It was an interesting experience holding our little boy, and looking at him, and talking to him. I just couldn't believe how perfect he was. He had only developed for 16 weeks- but it was incredible to see the development that was there.
Tanner and I weren't sure if we wanted to see him, or hold him. But we are SO glad that we did- it really gave us closure I think- and has helped us be able to move on and be okay with everything sooner than later.

I don't know if I can say for sure that I am grateful for this trial in my life. I don't think I'm to that point yet.  But I can say that I'm grateful for the knowledge that I have that we will see our little Tuff
man again.  I know that I will be able to raise him in the next life, and be able to see him.  Tanner and I just keep thinking that maybe this was his way of getting to the Celestial Kingdom- waiting for us to join him and see him again :) I really can't wait for that day.
We also got this from the hospital that I actually didn't see for a few days later.

I didn't think that he'd get a birth certificate because they had originally told us that. This one's not real though- it's just a replica of a real one :)

To end this super de duper long post, I feel really blessed with the amount of love and support we've received. Really. Here's some pictures to show how much love we've received. They've really meant the world to us.

 

 

It's not just these things that have meant the world to us- it's the many facebook messages, text messages, phone calls, emails, random visits, blessings, dinners, and more. people care- and I LOVE that. It's changed my perspective on things.

There's one thing in-particular I need to share so I don't forget.  I feel horrible because I didn't get a picture of what she brought. BUT...that's okay. I sold a little jacket to a lady off of Facebook that I hardly knew, and she must've seen what I put on Facebook, but she stopped by and gave us a giant pizza, and a bouquet of flowers. Meant the world to me. Here's a lady that I only met once- who bought something from me- but yet she took the time out of her day to stop by and ask how we were doing. I want to be more like her- because it really made an impact.

I wish there was a way I could thank everyone, but I don't think there is. I'll always remember though, seriously, the amount of love that people have shown to us. This has made me realize that I want to be more like all the kind people that have reached out to us.


We love our Tuff little angel.